Michael Steele is the Whitest Dude I Know

Ha ha ha! The race card! You can play that thing anytime! Especially if you’re the head of the GOP’s fund-raising arm, which, in the past year, has seen its coffers dwindle considerably because of holiday getaways in Hawaii, lavish private jets, donor mixers at lesbian bondage clubs, a secret fund raising pitch that included racism and fear mongering, and mailers that have been deemed a little too close to porn to be allowable. Whew! Now, you might think that this litany of complaints from the rank and file would be cause enough for criticism of Michael “Bojangles” Steele. What if I told you there’s an election coming up in which your party’s success depends on gobs of cash? Still not convinced? What if I told you your counterparts over in the Commie Fascist Muslim Democratic Party were out-raising you on nearly every front? You might be starting to get nervous.

You might. But not Michael Steele! He’s the cow on the tracks, people! Obviously the criticism he’s been receiving has nothing to do with his complete lack of management skills or leadership. It’s because he’s BLACK! People just can’t handle how real he keeps it. Off da HOOK! As long as Michael Steele stays this fresh and dope, I’m on board.


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