Patriots Rejoice!

Are you one of the literally tens of people who long for a return to such high-minded policy exchanges as what jism looks like on a blue dress? Did you thrill to the exploits of actual members of Congress performing ballistics testing on watermelons in their backyard? Surely you look back fondly on noted pervert Ken Starr’s 12,546 magnum opus, The Loves and Lives of William J. Clinton, Esq.? Do you think the whole ridiculous Shirley Sherrod nonsense just isn’t vapid and pointless enough? Well, fellow freedom-loving Real American, I hope you’re sitting down:

“I think that all we should do is issue subpoenas and have one hearing after another, and expose all the nonsense that has gone on.”
-Michelle Bachmann (R) Bat-Shit Crazy

You really will want to good read all the juicy tidbits at Three Fingers of Politics. I’m so excited that I went out and bought new socks because I know they are going to be BLOWN OFF by Republican majorities in the next Congress! All that bone-headed, distracting, smarmy, hypocritical, expensive subpoena-ing during the Clinton years is going to look like a tiny puppy next to a velociraptor with a lawyer in its mouth. And, now that ol’ “Crazy Eyes” Bachmann has her little tea party playset up and running, it will also have less mental capacity than your average grasshopper!

In a word: Awesome.

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