Republicans Sure Are Funny

Rep. Paul Broun of Georgia, easily one of the wackiest congressmen in the house, is in some hot water today after it was revealed that he laughed (according to some witnesses) when asked by a constituent “who’s going to shoot Obama?” In case you’re worried about the seriousness of the remark, the Secret Service checked the elderly guy out and closed the case, so there’s no threat, just very poor judgment. Rep. Broun, for his part, denies the report that he laughed and offered his own version of events, a full three days after the incident occurred. Given his past statements concerning Obama, forgive me if I have a hard time taking his apology at face value. However, just for the sake of argument, let’s assume that the elderly gentleman was simply making a joke and Broun chuckled along, all in jest, nothing to see here. If that’s what happened, shouldn’t we focus on what is actually funny? For reference, let’s take a look at some more quality conservative humor to get a sense of what they mean when they use the word ‘satire’:

“My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building.”

—Ann Coulter

‎”I’m thinking about killing Michael Moore, and I’m wondering if I could kill him myself, or if I would need to hire somebody to do it.”

—Glenn Beck

‎”So, Speaker Pelosi, I just wanted to — you gonna drink your wine? Are you blind? Do those eyes not work? There you — I want you to drink it now. Drink it. Drink it. Drink it.

I really just wanted to thank you for having me over here to wine country. You know, to be invited, I thought I had to be a major Democratic donor or a longtime friend of yours, which I’m not.

By the way, I put poison in your — no, I — I look forward to all the policy discussions that we’re supposed to have — you know, on health care, energy reform, and the economy.”

–Glenn Beck

“To fight only the al-Qaida scum is to miss the terrorist network operating within our own borders. Who are these traitors? Every rotten radical left-winger in this country, that’s who.”

–Michael Savage

“I tell people don’t kill all the liberals. Leave enough so we can have two on every campus—living fossils—so we we’ll never forget what these people stood for.”

–Rush Limbaugh

‎”This war [between liberals and conservatives] has to be fought with the scale and duration and savagery that is only true of civil wars.”

– Newt Gingrich

“I say round liberals up and hang em’ high. When I hear someone’s in the civil rights business, I oil up my AR-25.”

–Michael Savage

Ha ha.

Of course, that’s just a tiny little sample. But remember, these hilarious jokes would never entice someone to actually act violently, right? Aside from the violence, I think the real issue is that conservatives are not funny because their brand of ‘humor’ stems from hatred, condescension and ignorance. When you factor in the violence you get something else entirely. The extra added bonus is that even unfunny jokes let you claim plausible deniability when some lunatic actually kills people.

Those Republicans. What jokers.

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