Their Operators Are Standing By, If You Know What I Mean…

Having a well-to-do young donor cover their maxed out credit card at Club Voyeur just wasn’t enough for the gang that couldn’t shoot straight. They’ve fired everyone associated with the lesbian bondage themed evening who wasn’t named “Michael Steele”, but they just can’t seem to shake the sexy-time undercurrents in their organization.

Mr. Steele, if you’re paying $2.99 a minute to hear “anything you want”, maybe you could get her to read you the health care legislation. From your statements on the issue, it’s clear you don’t have a clue what’s in it. I’m sure won’t have to worry about approving the charge but just make sure your credit card has enough to cover it. Otherwise: DEATH PANELS!

RNC Proves My Point About Mormonland

I guess Chip Ward isn’t the only one who thinks Utah is a Teabagger’s dream. Evidently, they’re also considering Phoenix and Tampa Bay so it’s gonna be a desert or a swamp, either way. From the linked article, here’s the money quote:

The venue, adequate hotel space and whether a city has the infrastructure to host the convention are all key criteria that the RNC is looking at as it considers which city to choose.

Funny they didn’t mention the number one criteria: making sure their reservations were booked at the local lesbian bondage strip club. Except this is Salt Lake City we’re talking about here. The only place you’re likely to get lots of women being tied up and forced to submit to their masters is this weird joint. Sure, magic underwear and gingham day-dresses aren’t as hot as leather corsets, but then again you can take home as many as you want!

I mean, isn’t “adequate hotel space and infrastructure” just code for hookers and blow?

Rick Santorum is DISGUSTED!

I knew it wouldn’t be long before the Republican Purity Patrol was on the case! Is leather-clad lesbians bumping and grinding for cash much less weird than bringing your dead fetus home, having your children sing to it, and cradling it while you sleep? Oh well, to each his own, I suppose. In Rick’s defense, at least it wasn’t some sicko bestiality club in Tijuana or something because then we would have a reason to oppose gay marriage! Wait, what?

Sorry. Sometimes all those contradictory talking points can be confusing. I don’t know how $arah does it! Oh, right.

In any event, Rick Santorum, former protector of liberty from PA and current loser in VA, doesn’t think donors to the RNC would be happy if they knew their money was going to “this behavior”. Rick, if you’re planning on running for president in 2012, perhaps you should become acquainted with today’s GOP. A lesbian strip joint is pretty tame compared to sexting teens or toe-tapping in airport bathrooms. “Family Values” means different things these days. You’re just going to have to get with the times! Hypocrisy is IN!

Speaking of which, has anyone heard from Ted Haggard recently? Is he still totally not gay? If he’s not completely 100% straight by now, then ol’ “Santorum” Santorum is going to be DISGUSTED!